so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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