I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
