If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize