True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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