You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
