You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
