i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
