took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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