i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
