so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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