My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
