Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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