Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
