I smell stomach acid.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
