i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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