Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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