It's like God shit irony all over that family
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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