She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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