i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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