Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry al3xturn3rrul3s hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.

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(913): View more from Kansas

he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.

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(807): View more from Ontario

I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.

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(352): View more from Florida

Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.

(352): View more from Florida

And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.

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(333): View more from

im calling her cock vulture from now on

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(416): View more from Toronto

no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us

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(812): View more from Indiana

I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.

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