Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
