just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
