I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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