I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
