just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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