9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
this boner is exhausting
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
