i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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