i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
