Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me

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(908): View more from New Jersey

There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.

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(586): View more from Michigan

You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis

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(260): View more from Indiana

so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night

(1-260): View more from Indiana

guilty

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