Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
