Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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