Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
