i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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