i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
