It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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