covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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