Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
