I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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