super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
