I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
