areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
