he wants to bone in the snuggie
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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