update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just invented taco cereal.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
