Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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