I think i peed on brittanys purse
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
