ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
