Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
