The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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