This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
