ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
