Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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