what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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