As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
