We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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