i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
