she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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