I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My vagina just clenched in fear
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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