I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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