ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
